My First Brush with Johnnie Walker Blue

There are a lot of things I don't miss about trade shows. Namely the shows themselves. But they have provided some notable drinking experiences. One is to be excused for imagining me raiding the wine cellars of tourist traps, swinging magnums of Cristal around hotel bars or imbibing Louis XIII three fingers at a time. First, not my style. Second, I don’t possess the creative accounting skills to slip those entries through on my expense report.

I have consumed vast amounts of alcohol over the years on the company dime and a large majority of it has ranged from pedestrian to execrable; this includes much light beer and red wine that would inflict less of a headache if I smashed the bottle square across my forehead. Let’s just say trade shows are invariably about quantity more than quality, gluttonous more than discriminating.

My last trip to Chicago was noteworthy however in that, emboldened by the beer, wine and vodka I had already consumed one evening, I went ahead and ordered myself a Johnnie Walker Blue Label at dinner. Though I am a single malt enthusiast, I thought I would give Johnnie Walker Blue a try since I was in the mood for something a little different and it was the most venerable (and most expensive; it’ll run you $200 a bottle) blended scotch I could think of.

It’s a scotch that takes itself very seriously: every bottle is serial numbered and comes with a certificate of authenticity. There are about 15 or so scotches in the blend, some old (up to 60 years), some young, some from distilleries that no longer exist, and some from micro-distilleries that produce limited quantities.

All of which sounds good to me. Here’s the rub though: my palate had been thoroughly abused by lesser spirits that I missed the hints of “rich homemade Dundee cake.” So I don’t have much to offer in the way of tasting notes. It was definitely peaty and smoky, reminding me of the Islay malts, but who knows what else was going on there. Dundee cake tastes like peaty, smoky scotch as far as I know.

I don’t think I will be picking up a bottle anytime soon at its price point, but it did offer a nice reprieve from the usual expense account fare. It’s time to be discriminating again.

Here's Proof: We're All Wine Snobs

Along comes this study that shows people think that the same wine tastes better when it’s priced higher. Little surprise here really. Same principal as for a grossly overpriced scotch like Johnnie Walker Blue. The ego can be powerfully suggestive.

Here’s the kicker though: they didn’t just ask people which wine they like better. The researchers hooked the participants up to a functional MRI (fMRI) scanner, which showed that people had a greater pleasure response in the brain when told they were drinking expensive wine.

Chew on that one. If you charge more for liquor people will actually enjoy it more. So don’t hold your breath for the three-dollar martini.

The New Yorker recently had an interesting article on wine fraud. That is the astronomically expensive wines bought at auction, like, say the six magnums of 1945 Château Mouton-Rothschild for which some Rich Uncle Pennybags recently paid $345,000. Although wine fraud seems to be rampant, no one cares. The buyers go apeshit over the wine and no one can really tell the difference anyway.

All of which brings me to the sorry state of the Wine & Spirit stores here in Pennsylvania. I nearly cried when Jonathan Newman resigned as chairman of the PLCB. You used to be able to get fantastic wines handpicked by Newman that were $12-$15. Now it’s hit or miss, mostly the latter.

Mrs. McDrinkerson recently picked up a couple “Chairman’s Selections” and one was so bad we poured it out. That's right, poured it out. To which the Catholic voice inside my head responds, There are sober people in Africa!